JUN 26TH, 2014
Trustee Set to Reap Millions From Pilfered Tree
Arboriculture in Cold Spring
At the village board meeting on Tuesday it was a hot time in town when shocked trustees learned that Trustee Tree Girl’s once pathetic tree named “Larry” had real value.
Little did anyone know that the sickly sapling, owned by the village, would grow into the mighty oak that dropped the golden acorns. But as everyone knows, if juicy peaches, or golden acorns, fall on your property from someone else’s tree, they are yours to keep.
The tree, which some thought Trustee TG illegally placed on her own property, apparently needed personal attention while recovering from fungus on “his” tree parts. Trustee TG admitted that she is neither a certified arborist nor a licensed alchemist, and she stressed she was only trying to help poor “Larry” out.
Now, some angered residents and village trustees believe, Trustee TG harvests tens of thousand of dollars worth of “Larry’s” shiny nuggets each day–money that should have gone to the seniors.
While tempers were flaring, there was even an accusation that a trustee trespassed to view the tree up close. The trustee did not say where he was during the time when the trespass allegedly occurred. See what one peeping Tom provided to the PCNR here.
Where one trustee was furtive, another was bitter, calling the acorns worthless fool’s gold and demanding to know when she would be receiving a money tree.
Apparently, Trustee Tree Girl is already making plans for a brand new car with the nuts she’s squirreled away. She’s also helping the tree committee prepare a Q&A for village residents on how they can turn their trees into ATMs.
On Facebook, however, the scuttlebutt said Trustee TG was looking to upgrade her living situation. Now with “Larry” around, she needs a bit more space. She’s keen on either a home on High St. or something less run down in Garrison that comes equipped with concentration-camp-like security for “Larry’s” protection from spying and prying eyes.
Wherever she lands, sources say she’ll try to bring “Larry” with her.
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